Kelly Osbourne’s Nailpolish

I feel it would be lax of me to ignore the fact that the Emmy Awards happened the other day. So I am acknowledging that they happened. As everyone has come to expect by now, minus a few notable moments, they were fairly bland. Which is why the title of this blog is ‘Kelly Osbourne’s Nailpolish’… because for me, the most interesting thing that I could think about post-Emmy’s is the fact that Kelly Osbourne sported a $250,000 manicure to the event.

For what it’s worth, I thought she actually looked quite nice. But see that not even remotely exciting black manicure she has going on there? It’s worth $250,000. Why? Because the polish itself is made out of 267 carats worth of black diamonds. Which is nice and all, I guess. But like, what do you do with it the next day? I can’t imagine it’s something that you just let chip off. Do you distill it back into the bottle? Or is the idea that you have so much money that you don’t have to worry about that sort of thing?

The picture that Osbourne tweeted of the polish. Doesn’t even really look like much.

Shockingly enough, people have called the manicure “stupid” and a “waste of resources”. While Osbourne herself didn’t actually pay for the manicure, she is copping most of the flack. I don’t think that’s necessarily fair, but I do think that someone needs to put a little perspective on it. I am nominating myself. Here is a list of things that you could do for $250,000.

  • Get university educated in Australia 12.5 times – I am onto my second degree and currently owe the government a little over $20,000. Were someone to give me a $250,000 diamond maincure, I could scrape it off my fingers and wipe the debt I owe the Australian government for my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees 12 and a half times over.
  • Buy 125 round-the-world plane tickets – Travelling is food for the soul. With $250,000 you could buy 125 round-the-world plane tickets and see the world, including the parts that don’t have the luxury of wearing expensive manicure (or the luxury of being able to write snarky blogs about expensive manicures).
  • Pay your rent 9 years in advance – The average cost of a rental house in Sydney, Australia is $500 per week. $250,000 equates to 9 years worth of rent for the average Sydney-sider… that is some damned depressing math. Alternatively, you could just put a deposit on an actual house down and set yourself up a little.
  • 29 years worth of grocery shopping – In 2011, the average Australian spend on groceries per week was $164. Assuming that prices don’t budge in the next 30 years, $250,000 would buy groceries every week for the next 29 years. Alternatively, you could stock up for impending apocolypse by buying 29 years worth of canned goods.
  • Help Oxfam build 2551 schools with clean water in Cambodia – I’m sure at some stage you’ve probably given or recieved one of Oxfam Unwrapped’s gift cards, which makes a donation in the recipient’s name for specific projects that Oxfam helps fund throughout the world. It costs them $98 to build a school with clean water in Cambodia. With $250,000 you can help build 2551 schools. Alternatively, you can build 1851 wells in Sri Lanka, help support 10,000 women’s refuges globally or give 151 villages in Laos rice banks. I’m using Oxfam as an example here because they have a very obvious donation system that allows for such mathematics… but essentially what I’m saying is you could help out a shitload of charities.

So yeah, $250,000 is a lot of a money. It’s also a comically absurd amount of money to be putting into something as transient as a manicure. And it wasn’t even for a good awards ceremony either…

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