Lady Gaga is Louis Vuitton Brown

Today I managed to drag myself away from K-Pop videos (I need help) long enough to perform the world’s most appalling dye job on my hair. It’s bad enough that I’m not going to post a photo, but I suspect the desire to dye came about from watching too many music videos featuring people with candy-coloured hair. Anyway, I’m not the only one to drastically change colours recently. Lady Gaga has also has a bit of a colour make over. I realise that’s not really news, since the woman changes her hair every other week except this really is kind of a drastic change. It’s brown. There’s a blond bit, but it’s mostly just a nice healthy shade of brown.

Like…really. Just brown.

While I think it looks quite nice, it is just a tad boring from the woman who made a name for herself by not wearing pants and attaching plastic lobsters to her head. Not to be accused of slowing down in any way, Gaga quickly clarified that it was not merely brown, it was ‘Louis Vuitton Brown.’

Well thank goodness for that. Here I was thinking that colours were just colours. Turns out, you can just clarify all your dying mistakes and successes (I have significantly fewer of those) by comparing them to some sort of product. Because she has managed to be ALL of the colours, I’ve used Gaga as a template to helpfully label your future dye jobs, so you can tell your friends and acquaintances exactly what it was you were aiming for. However, having no experience with luxury goods (they don’t let me have nice things) my comparisons may be a little more… low rent.

Pink and Purple – Pastel colours in hair have made a sudden resurgence, possibly due to the influence of Mother Monster. It’s a tricky trend to deal with, so if anyone asks you what you were aiming for you can tell them that you were imitating the popular colour combination of the Baby Born toys.

Black and White – Ever a fan of the two-tone, Gaga was rocking this black and white do for a while there. Aside from the obvious Cruella de Vil/ skunk comparisons, I like to think of this hair as a ‘reverse Oreo’, combining the deliciousness of a sandwich cookie with high fashion. Incidentally, I too have had this hair style. It was mostly just due to my total inability to successfully get the bleach to cover my whole head. But whatever.

Blue- This blue look was part of that whole “sheer body stocking with pointed crotch outfit” that happened a while ago. While the spiked thong looked a little uncomfortable, I was a fan of the blue hair. It reminded me of my favourite household cleaning product, which both smells good and comes in an attractive colour.

Yellow- I find yellow hair really hard to deal with, mostly because whenever I look at it, it makes me feel like there’s been some sort of horrendous bleach malfunction. But, this look does remind me a little bit of a fried egg, which I guess you could call a redeeming quality because fried eggs are delicious.

Orange – Orange hair. Orange juice. It’s not a huge leap. I probably could have done something more creative (like… basketballs?) but I didn’t because orange things are hard to think of off the top of my head. I think I might be hungry. I think I may also be craving breakfast foods. Eggs and a glass of orange sounds good right about now. Sidetracked by my stomach, yet again!

Anyway, that’s all I have time for folks, but feel free to submit your own cheap-o comparisons in the comments.

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