Snoop Dogg is now a… Lion?

I realise this news is a little old, but it’s not getting any less funny so I thought I’d talk about it anyway. In case you missed it, Snoop Dogg, the man responsible for iconic tunes like Gin and Juice, has changed his name to Snoop Lion in order to reinvent himself as a reggae master.

Well, that sounds like a great idea… Wait. No, no it doesn’t. It sounds like a terrible idea, Snoop. It sounds like the worst idea you’ve had since you agreed to appear in a Katy Perry video wearing a candy-printed suit.

What’s that noise, Snoop? Oh, it”s just the sound of your credibility flying away.

So, initially I was kind of willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt. I like reggae. In spite of myself, I like Snoop. It could all be…OK-ish. Everything could always go better than expected. Unfortunately, as more details emerged, it became entirely apparent that at some point Snoop had lost his mind. He’s 40, so maybe he’s having a mid-life crisis. Either way, the press-conference was a trainwreck.

“On this particular project right here, I had no planning on going to Jamaica, making a reggae record or nothing. It was just, the Spirit called me. And any time the Spirit calls you, you gotta know that it’s serious and it’s real. So when the Spirit called me, it told to basically find something that was connected towards the Bob Marley spirit. Because I’ve always said that I was Bob Marley reincarnated. And it drew me to Jamaica.”

Oh, honey. No. For a start, Bob Marley died when Snoop was 9. But that’s not even the beginning of what’s wrong with that statement. If you’re going to start comparing yourself to one of the most recognisable and (dare I say it) influential reggae artists of the last 40 years, then you’d better be able to back your shit up.

I think we all know where this is going. Snoop most definitely cannot back his shit up. Take a listen to La La La produced by Major Lazer (which used to be a collaborative effort, but is now just Diplo).

I mean, admittedly he’s got a slightly better singing voice than initially expected, but this is just a nothing track with every reggae cliche that people expect to hear and some irritating space sounds. It’s not doing anything for anyone and it’s annoying.

So, now that we know the song is kind of terrible and that we shouldn’t expect anything wonderous from the sound, is there anything good to come of Snoop’s “wide open third eye”? Well, it turns out he wants to give back more to the community. He’s said and done some pretty destructive shit in the past, so I guess it’s cool that he wants to move away from the guns/drugs/women/pimp lifestyle.

“I’ve always wanted to perform for kids, you know, and my grandmother. People around the world who really love me, that can’t really accept the music that I’ve made. And this reggae music is the music of love, happiness and struggle. And now I get a chance to perform for kids and my grandparents, just make music that feels good to me… As a 40 year old man in the music industry, you know, artists call me Uncle Snoop. I gotta give them something now.”

That’s nice. I like the idea of Uncle Snoop. That terrifying, weed-smoking, almost-convicted-of-murder uncle that we all know and love. Sort of.

Whether it be mid-life crisis or a brain broken by 20 solid years of puffing on a joint, Snoop has made the change. Who knows how long it’ll last. I’m just going to go back to listening to Doggy Style and sipping on gin and juice (laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind). Snoop Lion’s reggae effort, titled Reincarnated, will be out soon.

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