Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy…but enough already, Jesus! You may have noticed the seemingly never-ending stream of covers and spoofs of Carly Rae Jespen’s Call Me Maybe. In the interests of convenience, I have decided to compile a definitive list of all of the various versions of the songs that you should watch/listen to. And then we can lay this bad boy to rest. Cool? Cool. Alright, lets get cracking.
- Carly Rae Jepsen, The Roots and Jimmy Fallon – This is pretty close to the original and even goes so far as to feature the original recording artist. But it’s worth a watch mainly for the looks on The Roots’ collective faces as they perform the thing.
- Abercrombie and Fitch Models – This one is pretty much my favourite, because it’s completely absurd. It’s just the original song, but with some super homoerotic shit happening in the background… and I’m not entirely sure if half of the male models involved realise exactly how gay it is. And the other half are really, really aware.
- Corgie Rae Jepson – Corgies are a great dogs. They’re short and fat with tiny little legs and they wobble when they run. They also do passable covers of inexplicably catchy pop tunes.
- Fun. – I find the full stop in Fun.’s name to be overly aggressive, like they’re just demanding that you enjoy yourself. As a child who went through a severe emo phase, I resent this and thus, find Fun. generally off-putting. But whatever. Their cover is good. Nate Ruess’ mouth kind of freaks me out though. But I guess that’s off-topic…again.
- Fleet Foxes – For those of you who feel like you have some sort of image that needs to be maintained, Fleet Foxes did a cover. As you can imagine, it’s suitably ethereal (or whatever adjective people are using to describe the Fleet Foxes now) and you can listen to your favourite catchy pop tunes without having other people look down on you. Bonus!
- Zombies – You need to have a zombie-related parody in their somewhere. This one is NSFW, but it is funny which is more than I can say for a lot of the other ones out there.
- Barack Obama – Everybody loves Barack Obama. Everybody loves Call Me Maybe. This way, everybody wins. (Except the Republicans).
- Former Secretary of State, Colin Powell – Not content with merely giving you Obama, the internet has also given us Colin Powell singing. Except there’s no lipdubbing or funny cuts. This actually happened.
- Obligatory terrible pop-punk cover – By a relatively unknown New Jersey outfit called Yes Virginia. There’s some impassioned singing that sounds an awful lot like the vocalist has a lip-ring and maybe a straigtened fringe. Also, apparently the lines “before you came into my life I missed you so bad” were too hard, because they brought in a female vocalist for them. Anyway, I chose this one because there should always be a terrible pop-punk cover but there don’t seem to be enough versions going around at the moment.
- Terrifying Donald Trump Lip-Sync (and the Miss USA Contestants) – If that bit doesn’t tell you all you need to know, just let me say that Miss USA contestants seem to have absurdly large mouths…all of them! Huge! I would take a stab at Donald’s toupee, but that material writes itself.
Right, so that’s it. That’s my definitive list of covers/parodies that you should hear. Now…can we all find something else to do, please? Thank you.